teachers day

went back tss and met up with 4E1, the JC peeps was released late and thus, came late.. they reach around 12 plus but school was already over.. oh well.. TSS was lame as usual, school instructions state that we can only go in at ten thirty am, the celebrations ending at 11am u let us in at ten thirty whats the use?? in the end Mr wan brought me in and the DM Mr Tan brought the rest in.. nothing special about this year celebration.. very bandish.. lol..
saw my classmates and see how they change, need to arrange a meet up soon..

went gym and swimming with yu duan and jaclynn after that, yu duan left early to go rock climbing.. went home around 6 plus, ate my dinner surf the net and now here i am.. Jac Ass, this is not a emo blog, -_- its just the way i write can, and all those quotes and all that, are stuff that i find meaningful and something for me to think about when i have time.. lol..

look at the man on the streets, his walking pass you, whats the story of his life? whats his regrets, the wishes unfulfilled, the dreams that only he hears at night.. look at that single mum with her kid, does she imagine herself like this 10 years ago, with a kid in tow and her husband nowhere in sight.. each of us have our own story, but who bothers to stop and take a moment to ask around us, are u ok? if only ppl will do that, wouldnt the world be a better place?

whats with the pack mentality? that sticking with the norm is the best, if no one makes a difference, when can we grow to care more... at this stage in life, most of us are concern with only our grades, our life, the little dramas that make up part of our life... but underneath all those teenage angust, where's the love and concern for all. the classmate who's so quiet in class, she might be facing trouble that we cant comprehend.. all it takes is just a single person to ask, are u alright.. that will make a difference.

each of us are in search of something.. it might be success, riches or even the search for the right one.. but do pause for a moment, and think for those around us.. can we help anyone?

for those of us, looking around at all that the world has to offer, when will the right solution come along, to bring us closure for what we are seeking?

falling back...

its surprising how things can change in a moment, how relationships can sour, how stuff can go wrong, how it seems like everything u do, its all wrong.. when u are scolded and potrayed out to be a useless idiot by those that u hold dearest to ur heart, when u are told that u don mean a thing by ppl whom u never imagine will say those words, the hurt that u feel, its excruciating..

when u tried explaining and no one wants to listen, when u give ur best and still, it falls short of what they want, its too much sometimes.. getting hit, falling down, getting up, smile and carry on, its wearing on the body and mind.. and sometimes, u wonder where can u turn to to find ur bandage, ur key to the lock..

i tried my best, its not enough, i try again, i get thrown out, now, i'm pulling out from everything.. maybe thats not the best option, but thats the least i can do.. to prevent anymore hurt to everyone..

worth it

for what its worth, something must change.

reflections

its going to be one am soon, i'm going to play one more game after i blog before turning in.. its been an exhausting week, what with the exams, the mio tv trouble and my family.. sometimes really wonder how i handle everything.. really dread the night sometimes, especially the timing between 10pm to 12 midnight.. its when things start to happen..

today morning woke up, brush teeth and started on selene's present.. wouldnt say what it is.. i'm glad that she like it.. hope that she can do well for her N level, really wish her well, she can always make me laugh de.. prepared and went out to meet jenn and jia ying, alvin ps us! lol.. cant blame him lah, his being fillial, buying things for grandpa.. :D

went to west coast plaza cafe to eat, filling meal, i like and its worth it for ten dollars! :D, ate baked rice with thai sauce plus soup of the day "cream of corn" and a cup of tea, nice nice! :D

back to TSS after that, saw a short run of their rehearsal for teachers day, there's lots of band! making me feel like going back on monday leh, how how?? stayed for only like one hour in TSS and rushed back to SP to collect the forms for FOSTER programme..

went to commonwealth long john and discuss all the plans for the SL SLAP programme with jenn, managed to clear up quite a number of stuff, than use the rest of the time to prepare for selene's present.. whoa, just realised, total hour's that i spent on this present, starbucks orchard: 3 hours plus this morning 3 hour plus this evening 1 hour so total around 7 hours at least i guess.. hmm..

training was kinda slack today, melvin came and experience what taekwondo is about, taught him the basic moves and let him try out the kicking, seems like his going to be a regular there.. thats good, got someone pei me slack every friday until 7pm, lol.. thats all for my day..

when you were sad and down, his the one that pick u up, before u became a beautiful swan, he was the one that held u and make u feel at peace with urself. where before u will run to him for comfort's sake, now, u are running in the opposite direction claiming that his irritating, where's the fairness to him, the love due to him, the loyalty to his faithfulness, where can he claim all these?

sadded.

screwed up pacc paper, don even noe if i can pass, studied hard for it and the results like this, -_- what to do? GGT next, hope that my effort wont go down the drain, i so wanna enjoy my cruise trip de..

anyway, went back to tss in the morning to collect the record of service form for ONOW, glad to see that almost everyone got a good grade, so don need to worry.. didnt go and swim or anything, growing fat le, D: Mr o complain to me about a girl that joined too many cca, well, if she can handle it, why not? not that i wanna brag, i could handle 2 cca with heavy committement in it and still, my grades are grades that any parents will be proud of, so whats the big deal?

its the things u do that makes a difference to ur own life, if its things that u feel is important, than go ahead and do it..

people once said that when u hope too much, the disappointment is even greater to swallow.. i guess this old proverb is true.. when the stuff u feel might happen or could happen, and it didnt happen, its hard to pull urself back.. when u have given free rein to ur dreams to develop and someone just make it disappear with the things she/he do, it leaves u empty and wondering, when will it become a reality? do u continue hoping, or do u stop hoping completely?? tears drop, but who's there to wipe them away, lift u up and say everythings gonna be alright?

Happy Friday, Lousy Saturday

Let me present to you my happygoluckykukuimmaturesupercrazysmallbut lovely Junior, "Selene Teo"!
P.S. Guess how old is she, XD

lol, took this picture with her on friday, she's the one thats always smiling no matter what, showed me magic trick as an excuse to hit me, -_-

glad to have known her, think back to like half a year ago, first time met her i thought that she was a typical ahlian, but turn out that i was wrong, NEVER JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER! She brightens up my day anyway, so thanks girl! but u are still not as cute as your cousin, :P.

lol, enjoyed my friday training, front kick and all those extra kicks that i'm too lazy to name were all there, the target felt nice too, only bad thing was that naz kick was too powerful, my poor hand suffered as a result from helping him hold the target, but watever, we help each other de! trained for two hours and spent the last hour looking around at the sparring.. didnt spar cause monday having exam, spent tis time talking to the abovementioned donkey and other ppl.. lol, had fun..

Saturday was spent mugging for exams, PACC is killing me, hope that i can finish all the exam paper 2mr and than i will start on GGT ASAP! Can somebody kindly tell me that GGT will be easy??

going to sleep now, tired out,

a message for someone:
hey, cheer up k, don sad! smile and u will be fine, life will always knock us down, it is up to us to stand firm and make sure that we will stay on top. Don be unhappy anymore, if u need someone to talk to, i'm here k! :D

The one we love, will always feel the most alien to us..

mutterings of the heart

My Cousin Victor, My Sister Linda and Me!

Took this pic last saturday, saw shaula at the dinner too.. its been one week plus since i last updated my blog, busy with presentations, now there's just one more presentation left and than everythings done for this semester except for the module exams..

nothing much happen this week, except for the usual stuff, school and gym..

Went back to TSS today with Jennifer, talk and manage to see the sec 1s, seriously dont recognise any of them except for sharlene, sat in the office and tried my best to study, didnt work out, after that, went to play bball. Feels good to play after so long, SS and Mr Wan also came along and play, had fun, :D

got home and bath, ate my dinner and now here i am, blogging once more..

No matter how things turn out, how people always seem to be judging you, stand firm, look into urself, and know your own worth. Dont let others influence you or cloud your judgement. Be confident of your own stand, and everything will be alright.

Dont attempt to know more for sometimes, knowing more can be a curse. Dont wait for things to happen, make things happen. For sometimes, if you miss the opportunity, its gone forever. And all thats left is regret. You will never know what might have happen, what could have happen. All you will know is what did not happen.

Maybe its just the facts of life,

that its harder to gain,

than to lose,

life is such..

tired out

RWPS presentation was a hassle, but at least its all over now, so gotta wait for results only, next up is EC and ITB, than its time to concentrate on the exams.. dread it..

its funny how thinkings and thoughts change, how the spirit and the will of a person can change over time, how things can get to the state where everything feels surreal, its been a long time since all these was here..

night world, i'm tired. from ___

stanza for the day:

its always the case,
when the one for u,
walk away from u,
and u feel,
as if the sun has gone out forevermore..

reminiscing, whats the next step?

No pics for this post, gonna blog about the past few days and all the crazy/random thoughts running through my head..

two days ago was the talent-time finals night, everything went as smoothly as it could, though there were communication problems within the committee... the event kicked off at around 6.25pm but it ended at the estimated time of 8pm.. congrats once again to everyone who participated and especially to the champions of each category, fauzianna and renjie..

before each performer went up, i was at the backstage with them, tried my best to encourage each and everyone of them, especially Alyssa, she look especially worried, and keng lim had to go and give her the idea to pierce me with her fingernails, -_- oh well, in the end she won second place so congrats too!

cleared up and had a debrief at the clubhouse, i carried the damm keyboard all the way back to moberly and it was super heavy! almost died, lol, lucky i didnt drop, than our debrief, it was short as everyone was rushing home to complete projects and study..

enjoyed myself tremendously in this event, the competition may be over but the memories of this event will stay in everyone's heart forever, :D

yesterday lesson was a waste of time, went school in the morning for ITB, the lecturer taught for ten mintues, tell us she finish already, and left us to do our own project, lol.. wasted my time away as my group member wasnt there and i didnt feel like doing, went to tekong island after that, real eye opener, saw how the recruits train and how they live, two years plus later will be my turn, lol..

carried the SAR 21 rifle, surprisingly, even though they said that it's around 4kg, it feels the same as my laptop weight, even my classmates say so too, lol.. after that, went back to the mainland and went to gym with nigel, went home after that and now i'm here..

had a chat with nigel, and i was enlightened, lol.. but at the same time, questions pop in too..

no matter what, shall keep on hoping, for the day that this wall will crumble, and what i find on the other side, shall be something more than now..

Stanzas for the day:
Love starts with a smile,
Grows with a kiss,
and ends with a tear

movie, talk, thoughts

Went out to see GI JOE: Rise of the Cobra, nice show! Cool weaponry though, make me think if i should just join the army next time and don need worry abt finding jobs already.. went out with yu duan, lol, was late in meeting her, sorry abt that! she had to wait for me but she went shopping, so no time wasted, XD

reached le went makan first cause movie was at 4.20pm, lol, the movie was two hours long! my butt almost sprain, i'm use to standing and not sitting, -_- after that, we were on our way home, managed to convinced her to take to joo koon and back again, lol.. as usual, talk and chit chat our time away, nothing much happen though, jus the chit chat session causing me to rethink my stand on some stuff,

its been ages since i have felt this way, the helplessness to do anything at all,
from today onwards, going to share a quote/poems with everyone,

Someday someone might come into your life and love you the way you've always wanted.
If your someday was yesterday, learn.
If your someday is tomorrow, hope.
If your someday is today, cherish.

and i'm wondering, when is it my day?

those days..

for those were the days that make life happy...

today totally went to class and waste my time there, RWPS was supposed to be doing some reflection thing but since the teacher didnt remember to take out the disc from her laptop, and she didnt bring the laptop, me and tianwei couldnt do.. -_-,

after school discussed abt the ITB project.. headache, don noe wat to do sia, topic so big, hai yo.. met yu duan and went running around gombak area... quite nice, ran for one hour.. while wating for bus talk with her, lol.. no please, me and her is impossible de, -_-

do you know what it feels like loving somone and see them rush to threw u away?

do you know what it feels like to be the last one, to know the lock on the door has change?

old song, but wonderful sentences, that can describe wat anyone is feeling anytime,

and its true, the old saying,

if you are questioning if you like someone,

u have already fallen in love with that person..

and i wonder why..

cough, go away lah! i don like u, :(

Nice right, my Art Work! :D

MAD!!! (Adeline's Design, nice nice?)

Its been a while since i have updated this blog, busy with talent time, why are you people pulling out? now its so much easier for the rest to go into the finals, no fun liao.. no matter what, the show must go on..

die, my september holidays are gone, lol.. 3 MAD camp, 1 GYL camp, 1 DTRM Camp, 1 Cruise Trip... oh well, cant complain, this is what i sign up for.. hope that there's time left over to work only..

seems like mask is gonna be what i get, need to get my feel back and learn to look deeper, look underneath and not be fooled by the different layers, else, all i get is heartache.. no matter what, old friends are still the best, for ppl like them, u can talk and talk and they will understand...

there's going to be a CA2 test later on, hope that i can score.. dead for the day, gonna sleep now,

P.S: the main library is cool! Jenn, u can do it de, i'm morally supporting u, lol...

a thousand different masks,

which to peel,

which to show,

but where's the real you?

complains

its just a simple thing, whats wrong with it, may i ask, if thats the case than i really don noe what to say, something doesnt conform and i'm make to take the fall, wat kind of logic is this.

a picture tells a thousand words

still coughing like mad.. oh well.. lets hope it will get well soon, been looking through old photos, and new ones too.. seems like memories were just yesterdays... there's been lots of changes, some for the better, some for the worst, hoped everyone's alright..

once read,
it takes courage to walk alone,
do we,
have the courage?

sleepy saturday... STUPID COUGH

sleepy saturday... for the very first time, i slept from yesterday 4pm all the way to today 3pm, a total of 11 hours of sleep... and this is not due to me coming back from a camp! a record... oh well, now i noe what it feels like to be really sick, don have the strength to do anything at all.. mind wondering and couldnt concentrate, wasted two days of study! best to start studying tonight.... couldnt join the class at sentosa today.. sad! oh well, there's always a next time.. :D

not many ppl,
will have the courage,
to stand alone,
in this world